Millions, if not billions of singles walk around the planet, and contrary to popular belief, not all of us are looking for love. I am one of the many singles who remain so by choice and are completely satisfied; however, so many people around me are not satisfied for me, and I am bloody weary of hearing the below phrases. Perhaps my fellow singles can relate.
1. “Why are you single?”
Because I choose to be. My attention is currently on my education, career, and dreams. Maybe I am simply not interested in being someone’s partner. Maybe I am focused on bettering myself. (Maybe no one finds me attractive, but I am sticking to the single by choice story.)
2. “When are you gonna get a boyfriend?”
Not now. Maybe not ever. Again, other things have my attention, so I am not pressed to add someone else to the list. I am trying to get visible abs, get into school, get a job, and get $1,000,000. Getting a boyfriend can wait.
3. “Is it awkward being the only single girl here?”
It is now that you have brought it up. I am most likely aware that I may be the only girl without a beau on her arm, but I am not uncomfortable with that. What I am uncomfortable with are the looks of pity you are giving me, like I absolutely must be sad that I am not in a relationship. Trust me. I am fine! My happiness does not come from another person — it comes from soy chai lattes and green tea frappuccinos — so do not feel bad for me. It is only awkward if you make it awkward.
4. “Are you lonely?”
No. Just alone. Lonely and alone are not the same thing! If I were lonely, I still would not need a partner. That is what my parents, sister, and friends are for. So when I tell you that I ate dinner or went to the movies alone, do not say, “awww.” I am totally fine, mainly because that means more food and popcorn for me. Nom.
5. “I can’t wait until you get a man.”
I can. I thoroughly enjoy having Netflix catered to only my tastes, not having to miss America’s Next Top Model because the game is on, having enough food in the fridge because I only cook for one, hogging all of the covers I want, and being able to fully spread eagle on my queen-sized bed without pushing anyone off. It is a wonderful life.
6. “I want to set you up with…”
No. That’s okay. Unless you are introducing me to a new tapas bar or macaroni and cheese restaurant, I do not want to be set up right now. I am not even sure of the success rate of family or friends playing Cupid, but if I want to try it out, I will let you know. This is especially addressed to my aunts. If I have to go through another meet and greet with a Stanford grad, football player, or med student, I will scream. Stop giving out my number and showing my picture around. I have not even glo’d up yet.
7. “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone.”
I am not worried, actually. You are. Finding someone is not currently on my radar, so I am not even stressed about it. If he comes, he comes; but until then, I am chilling, reading, traveling, working, laughing, and living life. (Plus, I found Jesus. Can I get an amen?)
8. “But we want grandchildren.”
Mum, Father, I need you to prepare for the chance that you may not get grandkids out of me. Besides, do you know how difficult it is to make my abs visible? I am in no rush to reverse the hard work (literally hard — feel my stomach of steel). Look to my sister.
9. “You’re scared of love.”
No, I am not scared of love. I think love is a beautiful thing, and I actually have love. I love me, my family, my friends, my passions, and so on. I simply am not interested in any romantic love for myself. Uninterested does not mean scared.
10. “You’re afraid of commitment.”
Au contraire! I commit to my bed every night! Along with God, my workout regimen, Starbucks, ShondaLand, and other things, I am also committed to myself and making sure I am the best I can be. Not committing to a significant other does not mean I am afraid of commitment; it could mean that I simply do not want to commit. Shocker.
What I want you to know is this: I am single and that is okay. Whether my singleness is temporary or not, I am completely fine with it. If my relationship status changes, I will be sure to tell you; but until then, do not pity me, do not pressure me. Just accept me and know that I am fully content. (I am also mad young, so my views on this could change.)
Fellow singles, are you with me?! I would say #TeamSingle, but single is not a team; we are alone. Here’s to us!xx
Continue the discussion with me on Twitter @theNiaLangley and Facebook /NiaLangleyOfficial.
24 Comments
Kamaaya 6 October 2015
And this is why I love Nia Speaks!! 💯💯
nialangl 6 October 2015
Thank you, Kamaaya!
Shannon Boyce 6 October 2015
This is so true. People tend to be really nosy when it comes to being single….and it can make people feel badly about themselves for no reason!
the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com
Anonymous 7 October 2015
This!
oomph. 7 October 2015
love this, nia!
Mlle Coconath 9 October 2015
Love this!
xx
Mademoiselle Coconath
http://mllecoconath.com
Sara Nuša Golob Grabner 9 October 2015
Great article! I think people can be really disrespectful when it comes to being single. If you are happy that's all that matters.
http://sarawritesadiary.blogspot.si/
May Cho 9 October 2015
Hahaha, what a great post! I think people misinterpret being single a lot and that's terrible. I think being able to prioritise and being able to know what you want when you want it is wonderful! Just chanced across your blog and can't wait to read more!
May | THE MAYDEN | Bloglovin'
Kathy McCarthy 9 October 2015
I hate when people ask these types of questions. It is fine to be single and it is not anyone's business but your own. I'm not single but I have friends that are and I would never bother them with these questions. It is perfectly fine to be single. Thank you for sharing this great post with us. Have a great weekend!
Kathy
http://www.glamsimplified.com
Karen Liesens 9 October 2015
I totally see myself in this blogpost! All the points are so true.
x Karen
https://dressinginlabels.blogspot.com
FashionRadi 9 October 2015
I can totally relate. There is nothing wrong with being single, some people make such a big deal out of it!
http://fashionradi.blogspot.com/
Mira Devils 10 October 2015
Yeah I'm with you!! #TeamSingle and I love it 😀
xx glamdevils.com / miasmode.blogspot.com
belinda 11 October 2015
Wow… This is great writing and I totally agree with everyone else on how annoying it can be when people poke their noses into people's single lives.
Great post and thanks for visiting my blog!
http://zoharous.blogspot.com
Jessica 12 October 2015
Your blog is so refreshing, you have such a great USP working in all of your posts!
Yasmin 12 October 2015
Society has so many expectations of you. It can be overwhelming. This is a great reminder to all the single ladies and those who treat them differently because they're single.
xx Yasmin
http://banglesandbungalows.com
JBT 13 October 2015
It's so true and when you're finally with someone, there are tons of new questions!
xo, Jill
http://www.BornFancy.com
My Lovely Fashion 18 October 2015
You have a great post and great photos. I love it. I have on my blog also Chic Halloween Style, take a look, pls. Thank you for visiting my blog. Keep in touch, pls. Big kiss
http://mylovelyfashionbih.blogspot.ba/
Mausharie Valentine 8 May 2016
Favorite line: "Fellow singles, are you with me?! I would say #TeamSingle, but single is not a team; we are alone. Here's to us!"
Nakeya 15 March 2018
Some people say “you can do bad by yourself.”… I always say “you can do BETTER by yourself.”…. There is nothing wrong with being single.
Teeara 15 March 2018
yasssss love this ! I hate how society make it seem like a bad thing to be single! That’s the perfect time to flourish and go extra hard on your goals
Cleo 15 March 2018
OMG I can totally relatebecause I hear a few of these everyday!!
Lauren 15 March 2018
I love how comfortable you are with your situation, but more importantly, yourself! Thank you for sharing this; I think a lot of people need to understand this point of view.
Destiny 15 March 2018
I’m with you! Everyone assumes singleness can’t be BY CHOICE. #Annoying.
Keara 15 March 2018
All of these are so true! Especially when they ask you, “when you having kids?” I hate it! Lol, great article!