Strangers with Memories<\/a>” that I’m the type of person who could pick things up right where I left them. He is somewhat the same way. Long story short, a few weeks ago, we hung out for the first time in a long time.<\/i><\/p>\nHe held all the doors. He paid for stuff. He did everything right, and that had me thinking about chivalry.<\/p>\n
I’ve spent practically all of my life living in a world where men stand when I enter a room, open doors for me, and pull out my chairs; so I’m very used to chivalry.<\/p>\n
It simply has been a while since I’ve been treated that way by a peer, specifically one with no romantic interest whatsoever.<\/p>\n
Interesting.<\/p>\n
Many could argue that chivalry is meaningless, shallow, or dead.<\/p>\n
Granted, chivalry doesn’t have as much significance today. There is no longer a medieval institution of knighthood in which to associate this code of conduct. Plus, at least in America, we’re living in a very independent women society.<\/p>\n
So, yes. I’m fully capable of pulling out my own chair and opening a door for myself. I don’t mind it at all. I don’t need<\/i> men to stand up when I enter the room. It’s okay. I’m not Her Majesty.<\/p>\n
But…<\/p>\n
…sometimes I’m a bit surprised when a guy cuts me off and walks through a door without even holding the door for me. Sometimes I’m surprised if a guy doesn’t pay for dinner.<\/p>\n
I feel bad for men sometimes. Because of chivalry, they usually aren’t able to get the treatment they are expected to give. I mean, who wouldn’t want someone else to pay for dinner? <\/i>That’s a free<\/i> dinner.<\/p>\n
My feelings towards chivalry are pretty mixed up, I guess. They are mixed up to the point of contradiction.<\/p>\n
I like doing most things for and by myself; but I’m sometimes surprised if a man doesn’t at least offer to do certain things for me. I feel bad for men because of the duties they need to take on in order to be called gentlemen; but I like that those duties are there because I like to be pampered.<\/p>\n
Beyond the pampering, acts of chivalry are meaningful to me. While some may see them as shallow actions, I see them as signs of thoughtfulness, kindness, and respect. In a way, chivalry kind of shows how important a woman is to a man, whether she be his mother, sister, friend, girlfriend, or wife. But then, a man whose chivalry is indiscriminate – like the man who will open the door for a woman who is a complete stranger – is even better.<\/p>\n
The robotic gentleman isn’t cool, though. I’d prefer a man who wants <\/i>to be chivalrous, as opposed to one who feels obligated to be chivalrous. I’d prefer chivalrous actions to be a seamless, continuous flow of actions because it’s a part of who he is.<\/p>\n
And at the end of the day, that’s what it comes down to: who he is. It’s not about what you do. It’s about who you are as a person. Quite frankly, I value who people are above the system of chivalry.<\/p>\n
Do I still think chivalry matters? Yes. It’s pretty difficult to erase something that’s been such a big part of my life. Though I think who a man is has more value than what he does, chivalry is something that will keep me around long enough to learn about the man<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Is chivalry dead? No. I’d say it’s on life support.<\/p>\n
What do YOU think? Should we pull the plug on chivalry or try to keep it alive? Is chivalry important to you?<\/b>
\n
\n<\/b><\/p>\n\n
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