{"id":85,"date":"2014-10-07T15:02:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-07T19:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nialangley.com\/blog\/my-crush-came-out-of-close.html"},"modified":"2018-03-15T08:26:56","modified_gmt":"2018-03-15T12:26:56","slug":"my-crush-came-out-of-closet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nialangley.com\/blog\/my-crush-came-out-of-closet\/","title":{"rendered":"My Crush Came Out of the Closet"},"content":{"rendered":"

The names, times, and places have been changed to protect identities and my now lowered self-esteem.<\/span><\/p>\n

I remember the first time I saw Smith. I was riding\u00a0in a\u00a0car; he was riding in another. I immediately thought he was attractive, but forgot about him just as quickly. I didn’t think about him again until I saw him later that week. I didn’t know his name or who he was that week. I didn’t know for many weeks.\u00a0I only knew that he was a beautiful tan boy with great hair.<\/p>\n

I was a new girl in a new place, and for the first few months at my new internship, I was very shy. Smith and I\u00a0interned in the same building, but not in the same area.<\/p>\n

Every few months, though, a new group of interns would join the old ones. I joined the next month, and Smith and I worked in the same area.\u00a0Even still, we did not become acquaintances until my second month there.<\/p>\n

Smith was so<\/em> fun to be around. He and I clowned all of the time. I noticed kind of early in our acquaintanceship that Smith wasn’t as “macho” as some other men – whatever “macho” means. His voice was only a tad higher and warmer\u00a0than some other men at our internship. I paid it no mind. I chalked it up to him being raised by a mother, grandmother, and aunt and having no consistent male presences in his life.<\/p>\n

“This is really embarrassing. Oh my days. I think I like Smith,” I told my colleague Johanna on our lunch break.<\/p>\n

“Oh my gosh! You two would be so cute together!”<\/p>\n

“We would, maybe; but we’re never finding out. I’m not gonna act on it.”<\/p>\n

And I didn’t act on it. Smith and I simply continued our acquaintanceship in the workplace – and it never really left the workplace.<\/p>\n

We finished our internship after a while. By its end, I wasn’t crushing on Smith anymore. I did, however, want to be his friend. We were still stuck in acquaintanceship. We had many laughs, a few cries, and some deep conversations by the time our internship ended, but I still felt like we were still only workmates.<\/p>\n

And I was right. He moved away, and so did I. Conversations became short, few, and far between.<\/p>\n

“Happy Birthday, Nia!”<\/p>\n

“Smith, how are you?”<\/p>\n

“I miss you. Hope you’re well.”<\/p>\n

“If we’re ever in the same city, we should go out and catch up.”<\/p>\n

We never did. Which was fine. We stayed connected, barely, via likes on Facebook.<\/p>\n

Then one day, Smith posted a video of him reciting a story he wrote. In that story, he came out. I hadn’t heard anything so beautifully said and well-crafted in a long time; and the fact that it came from Smith added something to it. I’d never read any of his stories before, not did I know that he even wrote stories. I didn’t know that type of artistry was in him. It was beautiful.<\/p>\n

“So that’s why you two never dated,” some people joked later on.<\/p>\n

“Yep!” I laughed along.<\/p>\n

All and all, none of us who knew Smith were\u00a0really<\/em> surprised. A few people suspected a while ago, the rest weren’t necessarily expecting it, but we weren’t shocked when the news hit the fan. Smith got loads of love and support from so many.<\/p>\n

In the end, I’m glad Smith was able to gain a sense of liberation and that others were able to gain a deeper sense of who he is. I still think Smith is a wickedly attractive tan man with amazing hair, but hopefully my next crush is equally attractive AND likes girls.<\/p>\n

Moral of the story: don’t crush on your colleagues. =p<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

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