Millions, if not billions of singles walk around the planet, and contrary to popular belief, not all of us are looking for love. I am one of the many singles who remain so by choice and are completely satisfied; however, so many people around me are not satisfied for me, and I am bloody weary of hearing the below phrases. Perhaps my fellow singles can relate.
1. “Why are you single?”
Because I choose to be. My attention is currently on my education, career, and dreams. Maybe I am simply not interested in being someone’s partner. Maybe I am focused on bettering myself. (Maybe no one finds me attractive, but I am sticking to the single by choice story.)
2. “When are you gonna get a boyfriend?”
Not now. Maybe not ever. Again, other things have my attention, so I am not pressed to add someone else to the list. I am trying to get visible abs, get into school, get a job, and get $1,000,000. Getting a boyfriend can wait.
3. “Is it awkward being the only single girl here?”
It is now that you have brought it up. I am most likely aware that I may be the only girl without a beau on her arm, but I am not uncomfortable with that. What I am uncomfortable with are the looks of pity you are giving me, like I absolutely must be sad that I am not in a relationship. Trust me. I am fine! My happiness does not come from another person — it comes from soy chai lattes and green tea frappuccinos — so do not feel bad for me. It is only awkward if you make it awkward.
4. “Are you lonely?”
No. Just alone. Lonely and alone are not the same thing! If I were lonely, I still would not need a partner. That is what my parents, sister, and friends are for. So when I tell you that I ate dinner or went to the movies alone, do not say, “awww.” I am totally fine, mainly because that means more food and popcorn for me. Nom.
5. “I can’t wait until you get a man.”
I can. I thoroughly enjoy having Netflix catered to only my tastes, not having to miss America’s Next Top Model because the game is on, having enough food in the fridge because I only cook for one, hogging all of the covers I want, and being able to fully spread eagle on my queen-sized bed without pushing anyone off. It is a wonderful life.
6. “I want to set you up with…”
No. That’s okay. Unless you are introducing me to a new tapas bar or macaroni and cheese restaurant, I do not want to be set up right now. I am not even sure of the success rate of family or friends playing Cupid, but if I want to try it out, I will let you know. This is especially addressed to my aunts. If I have to go through another meet and greet with a Stanford grad, football player, or med student, I will scream. Stop giving out my number and showing my picture around. I have not even glo’d up yet.
7. “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone.”
I am not worried, actually. You are. Finding someone is not currently on my radar, so I am not even stressed about it. If he comes, he comes; but until then, I am chilling, reading, traveling, working, laughing, and living life. (Plus, I found Jesus. Can I get an amen?)
8. “But we want grandchildren.”
Mum, Father, I need you to prepare for the chance that you may not get grandkids out of me. Besides, do you know how difficult it is to make my abs visible? I am in no rush to reverse the hard work (literally hard — feel my stomach of steel). Look to my sister.
9. “You’re scared of love.”
No, I am not scared of love. I think love is a beautiful thing, and I actually have love. I love me, my family, my friends, my passions, and so on. I simply am not interested in any romantic love for myself. Uninterested does not mean scared.
10. “You’re afraid of commitment.”
Au contraire! I commit to my bed every night! Along with God, my workout regimen, Starbucks, ShondaLand, and other things, I am also committed to myself and making sure I am the best I can be. Not committing to a significant other does not mean I am afraid of commitment; it could mean that I simply do not want to commit. Shocker.
What I want you to know is this: I am single and that is okay. Whether my singleness is temporary or not, I am completely fine with it. If my relationship status changes, I will be sure to tell you; but until then, do not pity me, do not pressure me. Just accept me and know that I am fully content. (I am also mad young, so my views on this could change.)
Fellow singles, are you with me?! IÂ would say #TeamSingle, but single is not a team; we are alone. Here’s to us!xx
Continue the discussion with me on Twitter @theNiaLangley and Facebook /NiaLangleyOfficial.
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